Thursday, October 02, 2003

Please Remember

I can document Ashley and Alex's childhood in so many ways, but no matter what I do, there is no way I can capture it all. This is something that plagues my mind often. There are so many moments that I remember from Ashley's toddler years, yet so many that I know are just gone. They remain a part of me though, despite my inability to remember. The memories live on in the love I have for her, with each passing memory, my love has grown fonder, my heart bigger, and my life richers. If only I could document each moment.

Lastnight, on the way to horseback riding lessons I turned around in my seat to look back at the kiddos, I don't remember why, maybe to hand them a snack, or to look at one of Ashley's Magna Doodle masterpieces, or to calm Alex, it doesn't matter. I looked back and caught a glimpse of my sweet daughter, I wish I had a camera at that very moment. The sun was beginning to set, she was excited about seeing Patches (the horse), and was leaning forward in her seat with such an innocent way about her, as if there was nothing else in the world but that moment, staring down the dirt road at the barn. The sun was setting behind us, and the way it hit her face was breathtaking. The deep orange wrapped around her face like a blanket covering an infant, so sweet, so precious. I had the windows down to let in the new fall breeze, it was so beautiful outside, her hair blew in the wind with such precision, as if each gust was meant for her, and only her. Ah, what a sight! I couldn't look long though, I was driving down a dirt road with many potholes and turns. The irony hit me like a ton of bricks...here she is in this wonderful stage of life, she's still momma's little girl and is still very proud of that fact, so beautiful, and even a little innocent..still, yet there are so many potholes, there's no way I can watch her like this forever. This seven year old is just a passing glimpse, I need to look at her and take it all in more often, even if that means pulling over and every once in a while.