Friday, May 30, 2008

Birthday, Summer and other schtuff

I'm officially in the 30 club...Now that I'm 31, I'm no longer just a newbie, I'm officially making my way to 35 err 40. I'm not sure how this happened so fast, one day you're in your 20's just getting along with all the new changes, marraige, babies, dreams coming to fruition and then BAM! Suddenly, you're the age your mom was when you remember thinking how OLD she was and how that was eons away and truly, you're invensible and that probably won't every happen to you anyway. So here I am, 31, with a soon to be first grader and a soon to be SEVENTH GRADER, going on 9 years of marraige. Wow. I remember being a kid wondering why it had to take sooo looong for that next birthday to they just sneak up on me and before I know I'm ANOTHER year older. Time flies when you're having fun I suppose.

Well, the kids are on their first official day of summer break. Yesterday was an interesting experience. I drove Alex to his last day of Kindergarten, his last day with the most precious teacher on the face of the earth, and the last day for me to ever have a kindergartener. I was reflecting back to the first day of Kinder and remembering how uncertain I was that this was the right thing to do. It was probably the hardest day of school I had all year. I did so well, dropped him off virtually tear free...and then I hit the doors leading out of the school and BAM, the emotions took over like a storm and that was all she wrote. The floodgates opened and I felt like I'd just left my soul in that Kinder room with a bunch of complete strangers.

Ironically, the ride to school yesterday was quite similar. Emotions were in full swing, but this time it wasn't momma, it was my little pumpkin. He fought back tears the whole way to school and eventually he lost the battle and wept for his Kindergarten year coming to an end. It touched me to see how special this year has been to him, and to know that I did make the right choice by sending him to public school. He had an incredible kindergarten experience that I know has set the foundation for so much that is yet to come.

Miss Ash, well, as thankful as she is that she can temporarily shut off her alarm clock, she's as equally forlorn that she'll be missing her buddies...girls AND boys. She's changed so much this year, so much that sometimes it's hard to tell if this really is the same little girl I sent off to sixth grade some 9 months ago. I'm so proud of all she has accomplished, despite how hard it is to let go of this little girl. I went to her awards ceremony, where she received awards for all A honor roll, UIL Spelling, and UIL Math. She's an amazing growing girl and I'm still trying to figure out how to hold on to what I know I must begin to let go of. I would like to hold on to this time and refuse to let go, because I can clearly see what's on the horizon, and quite frankly, it scares me to think of what comes next. It feels like our grip is slowly releasing, and as normal as I know this is, it's much harder than I ever imagined it would be.

Since I started this post a day has passed, the kids are now in Florida with Nana ready for their Disney trip at the Animal Kingdom Resort. Mark and I have a week to ourselves. I think we've spent more time asking each other what we should do with ourselves than we have actually DOING something with ourselves. We went to Burger Tex, off Airport for lunch, the burgers were certainly not what I had anticipated, dehidrated beef is really what we ate, next time we'll go with what we know is good and just make the trip to Top Notch...but we were alone and that's what matters, right? We made a trip to Target to pick out a book, since the one I just started just wasn't working for me. I found a book on my "To Read" list, The Bell Jar, by Slyvia Plath. I've spent the last hour or so sipping a rita and reading my book out on the back porch in a lounge chair with the soothing sound of my dripping water fountain settting the mood. Mark's in the livingroom listening to Lyle Lovett and Bonnie Rait live. It's only 8:30 on our first of 7 nights alone.

That's all for now, I'll update with more of our kidless week soon.