Friday, December 26, 2003

Our Christmas

Our Christmas

Christmas was wonderful, I think each year it gets better and better!

My stepmom, aunt and brother came over Christmas Eve to spend the night. Christmas morning my dad drove the Uhaul (with Ashley's gifts ) and arrived by about 7:45, just in time for the kids to come downstairs and discover what treats Santa had left for them. Our living room was overflowing with gifts for the kids. Alex really was in to it this year, he understood that Santa came while he was asleep that night, and he actually remembered it when he woke up, saying "Santa, presents". He opened his gifts with ease and munched on a chocolate bar in between each one. Both of the kids made out like bandits as always. My dad and stepmom gave Ashley a brand new bedroom set complete with headboard, footboard, chest, dresser, mirror and night stand. They ALSO got her many other presents as well. These children are so spoiled it's almost embarassing! I don't even have matching furniture in my bedroom!!

Aside from all the gift giving, we all had a wonderful time together. We laughed and ate, and drank, and just really enjoyed our time together. It really means a lot to Ashley that her grandparents and uncle were there with us. Everyone, except my brother left by about noon, just in time for us to lay down for a nap. I slept wonderfully with my new sleep mask that Mark bought me! We woke up and cleaned the house for my mom and stepdad to come over. The arrived at about 6:00, we ate a little dinner, and played a card came that Ashley got for Christmas. Ashley showed them all of her gifts, and by about 8:30 everyone was tuckered out and ready for bed. Even Alex was ASKING to go brush his teeth.

So Christmas is now officially over. We made some wonderful memories, started a few new traditions, spent some wonderful time together as a family, and most of the time we did it with a smile. I really could not have asked for a more wonderful Christmas

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

It's Christmas Eve!

I can't believe it's almost here! Santa is coming tonight!

Mark has all of this week off, and so far we've had some wonderful time together. Sunday night we drove through the neighborhoods oowing and awing over all the beautiful lights and decorations. We do this every year, we all get our jammies and Santa hats on, jump in the van, and listen to Christmas music while strolling through the neighborhoods. We never really have a plan on where we're going, that's one of the funnest parts about it. Mark and I get to giggle as we get lost in foreign neighborhoods while Ash begs to find out if we'll ever get home again. Eventually, we find our way home, just in time to brush teeth and climb in our warm beds.

Monday night we attempted to make our annual trip to the big Christmas tree in Austin. We had to make a stop along the way and ended up getting there much too late, and after seeing the enoromous line of cars we decided to go get Amy's ice cream at the Arboretum and hang out in the courtyard with the cement cows. It was actually a little warm that night (60's), which made ice cream a brilliant idea. I wonder if that night will make it in to the memory bank of the kids, I know it's stored in mine. It's not that often that we get to go somewhere with no time constraints, no rushing, no planning, just LIVING. It was wonderful.

So last night (Tuesday the 23rd), we decided that there was no way we could make it to the tree unless we got there before dark and before the crowds. So, we left the house at 4:30, and got there within about 10-15 min. before dark. It was a genius plan, there was almost no line, and we got a decent parking spot, AND we beat the crowds. We had plenty of room to spin beneath the tree and stumble around trying to see straight afterwards. We all had our santa hats on which is probably the reason the News videographer picked us out of the crowd. I was spinning Alex around, he and I were having a blast, I thought I saw a bright light, but didn't realize it was on US until I stopped spining. When I finally stopped stumbling (from the dizziness), I realized that the spotlight from the camera was on Alex and I and ONLY Alex and I, and a group of people were all staring at us! Next thing I know, I'm being interviewed by the reporter. I told her about how this was such a fond childhood memory of mine, and I brought my kids here each year in hopes that they too would have wonderful memories of the big Christmas tree. Of course, leave it to me to talk to much, I went on and tell her about how we left so early to beat the crowd and ended up eating funnel cake for dinner. Now all of Austin and central Texas knows my kids had no veggies for dinner.

Friday, December 12, 2003

It's the Hap-Happiest time, of the year!

When I walked in the door from Gymnastics lastnight Mark greeted me in kitchen, gave me a kiss, and told me that there was a wonderful message on the answering machine that I had to hear. Boy was that the understatement of the year. It was mom. She called to tell me that she tested virus free. Yes, VIRUS FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The past fourty some odd weeks of chemo has all been worth it, this is the ultimate gift, and it's made out to our family. Mom may be cured, mom may be able to live a full life! If she tests negative in six months, she will be considered cured. EEEEKKK! What, cured? That sounds absolutely crazy! Mom cured of Hep. C??? That's not supposed to be possible. There has never been a "cure"!!! Thanks to medicine, and all the wonderful doctors out there, there now is. It's inconcievable, unreal and hard to grasp.

She's still very sick from the chemo and will be for months to come, but she now has something to smile about, we all do. I remember when the doctor told her that she was a good canidate for this new round of chemo. At the time, she was keeping Alex for me full time while I worked. Her energy level was always unpredictable and I felt guilty seeing her so exhausted each day. She told me about the possibility of doing chemo, and I began the hunt for day care. I hated the thought of day care, but if that meant that mom could have the opportunity to watch her grandkids grow up, Alex was definitely going to daycare.

As it turned out, shortly after hearing the news about this new chemo, I was laid off from my job. This is beginning to sound like a bad time in my life, but in all actuality, the turn of events are the best that have ever happened to me. Mark and I decided to attempt being a 1 income family. Before I was laid off, we never thought it was possible; afterall, we just bout a new house 4 months earlier, and a van the year before, and we also had a new addition to the family the prior year as well. My layoff forced us to consider the possibility. After working some numbers and getting a phone call from my stepmom offering to do anything in her power that would allow me to be a stay at home mom, we made the decision. Less than 24 hours after being laid off we made the best decision we've ever made as a married couple, I was officially a stay at home mom. AND mom was no longer plaugued with the idea that she would be the reason for Alex having to go to daycare. If mom was not sick, I would have found a new job, I would not be a stay at home mom, my life would not be as good as it is today. It's true, it really is.

Here's to life and love mom, Merry Christmas

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Please Remember

I can document Ashley and Alex's childhood in so many ways, but no matter what I do, there is no way I can capture it all. This is something that plagues my mind often. There are so many moments that I remember from Ashley's toddler years, yet so many that I know are just gone. They remain a part of me though, despite my inability to remember. The memories live on in the love I have for her, with each passing memory, my love has grown fonder, my heart bigger, and my life richers. If only I could document each moment.

Lastnight, on the way to horseback riding lessons I turned around in my seat to look back at the kiddos, I don't remember why, maybe to hand them a snack, or to look at one of Ashley's Magna Doodle masterpieces, or to calm Alex, it doesn't matter. I looked back and caught a glimpse of my sweet daughter, I wish I had a camera at that very moment. The sun was beginning to set, she was excited about seeing Patches (the horse), and was leaning forward in her seat with such an innocent way about her, as if there was nothing else in the world but that moment, staring down the dirt road at the barn. The sun was setting behind us, and the way it hit her face was breathtaking. The deep orange wrapped around her face like a blanket covering an infant, so sweet, so precious. I had the windows down to let in the new fall breeze, it was so beautiful outside, her hair blew in the wind with such precision, as if each gust was meant for her, and only her. Ah, what a sight! I couldn't look long though, I was driving down a dirt road with many potholes and turns. The irony hit me like a ton of bricks...here she is in this wonderful stage of life, she's still momma's little girl and is still very proud of that fact, so beautiful, and even a little innocent..still, yet there are so many potholes, there's no way I can watch her like this forever. This seven year old is just a passing glimpse, I need to look at her and take it all in more often, even if that means pulling over and every once in a while.