Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 6 - 9 The Love Dare

Not a lot of juice in these last few days, at least no real juice to write about. Mark and I are really noticing that we do most of the love dare challenges on a daily basis without even thinking about it. We've reflected on how far we've come in our marriage and how fortunate we are to have one another. I'm looking forward to the weekend when we can focus a little more time on the challenge...this first week of school has me WORE OUT. Here were the challenges for the past few days:

Day 6 - Love is not irritable
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life

Day 7 -Love Believes the Best
For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Day 8 -Love is not jealous
Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Day 9 - Love makes good impressions
Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Moving on to Day 10, I'm fairly certain I will have a decent post for this day!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Day 5 - The Love Dare

Love is not rude.

Day 5
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Ick. I was NOT looking forward to this one. The kids on the other hand, LOVED the thought of picking each other apart. I had to have a conversation with them about the purpose of this challenge, because on the surface, it really just appeared to be another way to start an argument. I *think* they got it. Their lists were fairly predictable, although Ashley did get a little carried away and came up with 5 instead of 3...and then tacked the paper to his wall. Lovely. Today I'm going to ask her for a redo, and for her not be so harsh in her choice of words.

Mark and I didn't get around to this challenge until late last night, and ended up staying up past midnight discussing. Last night I realized that I had built this challenge up so much in my mind that I was actually dreading having to bring it up. I guess my fears were that I was going to learn something about myself that would be hard to hear, and more specifically, hard to change. I was also not looking forward to the possibility of hurting Mark's feelings. I now realize that my fears were much larger than they needed to be. We had an extremely productive conversation, and learned a little bit about each other. Really, our issues with each other are so, so tiny when weighed with what we love about each other. And with every item on each of our lists, we discovered that in order to have what we have in our life together, these things are necessary on at least some level. They could certainly improve, but they are there only as a result of the efforts we make for our family. Behind each irritant is a good intention, and that leaves me feeling oh so thankful.

Meatless Take 2

Back on the wagon it seems. Last night Mark made a yummy dinner, grilled chicken, sausage and some fixins. Ash ate Mac and cheese, corn and crescent roll...all on a yellow plate. Can you say STARCH. Looks like we're going to have to do some better meal planning with a vegetarian in the house.