Sorting some things out

I have written several Blog posts over the past year, but decided not to post them. So much in our lives has changed and I am confused and torn on the subject of my blog. I need to decide what this blog is to me. Is this a place where I tell all, or is this a place I tell the mostly pretty? I know that the only people who really read this are close to me, but there's still that fear of sharing too much. I typically blog to share emotion on some level or another, but this past year has been filled with emotion that relates to a subject that I'm not sure it is wise to share about. If my words only affected me, I could handle it, but when it's a third party who has no choice in the matter, I have to think twice. The need to share is overwhelming and I'm not sure why. It may be that it's just the way I process things best...through written word. Maybe this is my happy place and my extremely personal posts should be typed but not posted.

Really, I just sat down and started typing, hoping the thoughts would flow and help me find a solution. I think I've found it. Sharing the nitty gritty would be self serving (for the most part), My desire to write hasn't gone away, in fact, it's only grown stronger over this past year. I want to write and share and not worry about it. So maybe that's just what I need to do.

Just a Mom

I have read this numerous times over the years, and each time I read it I smile, I spose that makes it blog worthy....


A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office
was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.


"What I mean is," explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a......?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.


"I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,"
said the recorder emphatically.


I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the
same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."


"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
looked up as though she had not heard right.


I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most signific a nt words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,
"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
[what mother doesn't)
in the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the hu manities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and
the rewards are
more of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished
and indispensable to mankind than
"just another Mom." Motherhood!


What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations"
and great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
"Associate Research Assistants".

5 years later

Five years later, life has gone on, but it will never, ever be quite the same. So many lives lost, so many dreams shattered, so many freedoms lost.

Today my heart goes out to all those affected by the tragedy of the September 11th, 2001 attacks. I know their pain is fresh today, and their wounds have been opened once again. I hope that the media is gentle today, and those who are hurting, can do so in peace.

Who gave these stooges GUNS???