Adventure Race

I forgot to update about my race from Saturday!! This was my second year to compete in the Women's Adventure Race, benefiting the Young Womens Survival Coallition. This charity supports young women under 40 affected by cancer. It was a huge success once again this year. Very powerful!

I had a new partner this year, Tiesa. She's a good friend and neighbor. Our girls are both going to the 4th grade, and are very close. My partner from last year was there with a new partner as well, so that was nice. We both needed someone closer to our level of fitness, so it worked out great. Anyway, I just got the final results back! Tiesa and I finished 45 out of 192 competitors. We finished in 1 hr. 40 min., which is a huge improvement from last year. Last year we finished in 2 hrs. 5 min. We are thrilled at how well did, but we both already have started our goals for next year. I can't wait to see pictures! Mark and the kids weren't able to come this year, so I didn't have anyone taking pictures. I was kind of bummed about that. There is a company that takes pictures throughout the race of all the competitors, so I know I will have at least a few soon.

Summer

Is really only mid June?? I feel like we've done so much already, enough for entire summer! I had my 10 year reunion, that was a lot of fun, it was interesting to hear all about what everyone has done with the last 10 years. I was shocked that only 78 people showed up...including spouses, from a class of almost 400. It probably had something to do with the $45 per person. Despite that, it was fun to dress up and see all of my old friends.

Last Saturday we FINALLY had Ashley's adoption party! We had it out at my dads lake house where everyone could swim and wakeboard. Wow, what a party! It was an hour and a half drive for everyone, so we were surprised at the 30+ person turnout. It was so nice to have so many people that we care about in the same place at once showing their support for our family. It was a beautiful time!

As for me, I'm just trucking along, enjoying my time with my kiddos both being home together for summer. We go swimming almost everyday, and I'm still working out 4-5 times a week. I've found that my love is aerobic classes, I'm addicted!!! I take muscles in motion on Mondays, which is a toning class, Circuit training on Tuesday, this class kicks my butt for a full hour...I have finally adjusted to the step, for a while there I wanted to quit just for the simple fact that I felt like such a moron on the step. The instructor does steps that I've never seen before, and she does them quick! I have never felt so uncoordinated in my life!! I've adjusted though, FINALLY!!! Friday I take a 45 min. cycling class, that is really, really tough. The only way I get through it is positive self talk. If any ounce of negativity reaches my exhausted brain, I want to quit. I firmly believe that endurance is 60% mental. Two of these classes are taught by Meredith. She is so positive and motivating. It's so nice to have someone to look up to on a fitness level. This weekend she placed 3rd in the Danskin which is over 3,000 women competitors. She's my hero! But seriously, someday, I hope to be able to compete at that level. My race is coming up in July, and I'm soooo anxious, I can't stand it!!! ( www.womensrace.com ) I'm going to whip my time from last year. My partner and i are on just about the same level and I know we're going to do very well this year. Last year we ranked right smack dab in the middle of all the competitors, which means we were pretty dang average. This year I want to climb up to the top a little more.

Anyway, I need to go get ready, we have a dentist appointment in just a bit. Signing off.

Just an update

This year we spent Easter at my dads. The long weekend was soo nice. Alex came down with Hand Foot and Mouth, which has been no fun for the poor little guy. His Hands feet, bottom and mouth are all covered in little blisters. From the moment i saw the blisters I knew what it was. He came down with this last year, so this time I decided not to fork over the $15 co-pay for a dr. to tell me that my son has Hand Foot and Mouth and there is nothing I can do about it. That's ok, right? I know Alex is ok, and I guess second guessing my decisions is all part of being a mom.

Mom is looking and feeling so much better these days. Slowly but surely her body is recovering from the year of chemo. She tells Ash that her goal is to race up the street like they always use to love to do. How many grandmas RACE their 7 year old granddaughter in a full sprint? I don't think she'll ever stop running.

Mary Kay is going pretty well. Every week I sell at least a little. I'm so anxious to move away from selling to my circle of family and friends though. I held a drawing for a Satin Hands set up at the children's consignment shop that was very successful. I had 11 entries and gained 3 new customers from it. I plan on doing that every other month. This will really help me in my mission to start migrating away from selling to familly and friends. I actually have my first appointment with a complete stranger today. She's the winner of the Satin Hands set, and I've only ever talked to her on the phone. She'll have a friend with her, so the pressure may not be high. I'm very nervous, yet excited to get my feet wet. I'll have to update on how that went later

Adoption Day on the horizon

It's so close, we almost have a date! So far the tentative date is February 4th. I'm so excited and anxious! I've been trying so hard to find something special for Ashley to give to Mark on their special day. I have found a few poems, but I'm not sure what to do with them. I will put a bug in Ashley's ear to make daddy something as well. I think this poem is the one, now I need to figure out what to do with it. I thought maybe I could frame it and have Ash decorate the mat. I was hoping to think of something smaller, that he could carry with him always.

You did not give me the gift of life,
but in my heart I know
the love I feel is so deep and real
as if it had been so.
You did not give me the gift of life,
but rather the chance to live...
to love; to learn; to laugh;
to cry; but most importantly, to give.
You did not give me the gift of life,
and that's ok with me.
For no matter what, you're my daddy
for all eternity!
For us to have each other
is like a dream come true.
No, you did not give me the gift of life;
Life gave me the gift of you!
Credits: Jaime Frodyma

Growin Up

Good news and bad news. Bad news...my baby girl has a crush. Ok, so it's not really bad news, but still, close enough. Lastnight while we were doing the nightime brush teeth go potty ritual, I noticed that Ashley looke a little sad. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she had been feeling like her heart was hurting. " src="http://www3.nb.sympatico.ca/crempel/Smilies/sad.gif"> I had no idea what was going to come out of her mouth next, but I must say, I was a bit nervous. She closed the bathroom door, made me promise not to tell daddy, and told me that she liked a 5th grader. As it turns out, this is the same boy that has liked her since she was in the 1st grade (so I hear). My baby is in 3rd grade!!! Anyway, she was upset because he doesn't know that she likes him and she's afraid to tell him because her friends think he's gross. She's asking me what she should do. First thought...OMG, this is my 3rd grade baby girl, second thought, and good news...she's TALKING TO ME!!!! This is a good thing! I gave her my advice which was to be his friend and don't worry about what her friends say. I told her that it was normal to like boys, and that I remember liking a new boy every few months or so. It was a good talk, but I'm still in shock! This is only the beginning.

Dieting

So, I've always wondered when it would happen, 25, 30, 40??? Well, here I am at 27 watching weight pile on as if I sat around and ate bon bons all day. I've never had a weight problem in my entire life, I've had 2 kids and bounced back from each of them, but unfortunately my metabolism is slowing down. I've gained 5 pounds in the last month. I'm now 165 lbs at 5' 9". I refuse to let myself get fat, REFUSE! I've been reading a little bit about Dr. Phils weighloss challenge and I can see how it would work, but I have ONE issue with it. He claims that when I over eat and endulge in junk, that I'm really masking an emotional issue. I don't see it. I ate 3 Hershey's kisses and a resses a few minutes ago because they taste so damn good. I don't have an emotional issue, I'm not hiding from anything or masking an emotional need, I LOVE CHOCOLATE, it makes the receptors in my brain happy. What can I say? The nights when I eat too much dinner, once again, I'm overeating because food tastes GOOD!


Anyway, so my plan of attack is to workout, and watch my portion control a little better. I refuse to go low carb, and I refuse to cut out sugars. I CAN overcome this without taking drastic measures, I just know it. Tomorrow I'm meeting with Chris who will figure my body fat, BMR and how many calories I need to be taking in, in order to loose weight. I'm anxious, but nervous. I just can't get excited about learning what my body fat percentage is.


I am thankful for the way I am...it could be worse.

I am thankful that my husband loves me for ME.

I am thankful that Chris is generous enough to help me learn how to stay fit.

Christmas Day

It's Christmas day at the Urben's, the day is coming to an end, presents are all unwrapped, the food is all eaten, the mess is all cleaned up and here we sit reflecting on all that we have. The simple things are larger than life on this special day. Family, friends, health and happiness...we have it all really.

Last night Nana got to our house at about 5:00, and Jason arrived a few hours later. I had originally planned on making broccoli chicken casserole, but after opening the box of freezer burned broccoli, we decided we just munch on appetizers and eggnog instead. Ruthie started her homemade spagetti for us to eat for lunch on Christmas Day while everyone watched The Incredibles. The kids went to bed around 9:30. As soon as they were out, I started the last of my wrapping. We finished up and got to bed around 12:30. Mark and I woke up bright and early at 6:30 this morning, got ready, lit the candles, started the wassle, turned on the Christmas music while Nana started our traditional cream chip beef on biscuits (Shit on shingles). The kids finally rolled out of bed around 8. They did a wonderful job of taking turns opening presents and thanking everyone. Dad arrived around 8:30, just in time to watch the last presents get opened. We had a wonderful time together as a family, but wished uncle Dave could have been there with us. Uncle Frank showed up shortly after Dad, and Melissa, Aleena, and family showed up around 9:30. We all ate breakfast, while chatting and having a wonderful time together while the kids ran around the house playing with all their new toys. After the Garcia's left, around 12:30, we ate Nana's homemade spagetti, which was WONDERFUL! Nana and Big Daddy left around 1:30, Alex went down for a nap, and Uncle Steve showed up. Mark, Steve, Jason, Ashley and I, all laid around the living room watching A Christmas Story. Apparently I was a tad bit tired. I was awoke in the recliner by the doorbell at about 4:45 and looked around to see everyone snoozing away all over the living room. " What a beautiful sight.

At the door was Mom, Andy, and Trish. I had no idea that Aunt Trish was coming, so it was such a pleasant surprise to see her!! We hung out, munched on the Honey Baked Ham that they brought, and pigged out on all the Christmas goodies that I had left over and had a super time together once again. Everyone left around 8:00, and here we are enjoying the last of this wonderful day together. It has truly been a wonderful day at the Urben's.

Adoption Update, meet the judge

This Tuesday December 14th, we had our hearing for the termination of Rick's parental rights. I was soooooo nervous sitting in the courtroom waiting for our turn, it took about 20 min. for the judge to get to our case. Our attorney said "lets cross our fingers", and I thought, @#%$, I have to cross my fingers?? I was hoping she was going to be more reassuring. My tummy was just a mess. I thought I was going to have to run for the bathroom!! We sat through case after case of divorce. I cannot believe how many divorces go on! Our attorney said that at least 50% of the cases that go before the judge are divorces, so by the time it was our turn, the judge actually smiled! We had to testify, my sweetie got so misty eyed talking about his daughter and how he plans to adopt her. It was emotional. As soon as the judge said "I'm granting this petetion for termination of Mr. Acuna's rights.", Mark and I were overcome with emotion. It was an awesome moment, a moment that we had been waiting for, for a very long time. Just as the judge spoke granting the petition, Alex lets out several huge toots! I was so embarassed, a courtroom FULL of QUIET people and my son blows one. He was very proud of his work and just giggled and giggled. We left a nice little odor for the honorable judge Higginbotham. I had a hard time turning around and not RUNNING out the door!!

Our home study is Thursday and I can't wait to get it done, that will bring us one step closer to the big day!


I'm so thankful that our wait is almost over.

I'm thankful that Judge Higginbotham understands that blood is not always thicker than water.

Once again, I am so thankful that I have the most wonderful husband in the entire universe.

Valium anyone?

Have I mentioned that being a stay at home mom is the toughest job I've ever had. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine having 2 children and being a SAHM would be this trying. Don't get me wrong I love my job, but there are days like today, that I'm ready to throw my hands up and run. If anymore energy or emotion is sucked out of me today I feel like I will turn inside out. There is never a quiet moment in this house. Most days I enjoy this, but today, I wouldn't mind a white room with padded walls...errrr wait, maybe that's where they will take me when my head spins around and my eyeballs pop out of their sockets...(As Alex dumps his entire basket of play food out on the living room floor and the dryer buzzes in the background.) lol I have christmas lights half way up on the rail in front of the house, the vaccuum for the stairs is sitting on the counter waiting for me, the bike, the trike and the pogo stick are in the driveway and need to be moved before Mark pulls in the driveway. Don't even get me started about dinner. My todo list has turned in to the "to do SOMEDAY" list. Poor poor pitiful me.


Thankfuls


I'm so thankful that there is such thing as a sense of humor.

I'm so thankful that there are NOT more hours in a day.

I'm so thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

Adoption update home study

Friday evening our Home Study was cancelled. Apparently, it's going to be next to impossible to get one done so quickly, unless we're willing to pay double the normal rate. That's ok though, this will get done soon, nothing is going to change except for the measley old date. We found out that we have a lot more to do than we realized for this home study. Mark has to get a document from a doctor saying that he is physically capable of being a father. ( ) We also have to get letters of recommendation from non-family members. I sent out an email to all of our friends requesting letters and within a few hours I had already received one. It was very touching. I think I'm going to add it to my blog. So, now we get to be a little picky about who we choose to conduct our home study. We're getting rates and references from several right now. We should be ready for the adoption hearing by January, or possibly February.



Letter of recommendation from the Zuniga's:



To whom it may concern,

I am so happy to have the chance to talk about my experiences with Mark Urben and Ashley Rogers. My daughter, Aubree Zuniga and Ashley are best friends. They met about 2 years ago when we were lucky enough to have moved to a house on the same street as the Urben family. When I first met Ashley, she struck me as a very sweet, confident, well-adjusted, smart and responsible child. She is surprisingly mature for her age.

She bragged about her mommy, daddy and baby brother on the first day she came to play. We quickly became friends with the rest of the family and have since had many dinners, parties, shopping trips, walks around the neighborhood and have even been on a few family trips together. I have witnessed so much love between Mark and Ashley, so much respect and admiration. Whether it’s the way Mark looks at her, hugs her, talks to her or even disciplines her, he always does it with a patient, respectful, loving, and compassionate hand.

Ashley loves Mark and has always referred to him as “Daddy” because that is just what he is to her. Mark makes time for Ashley and even takes her out on Daddy/Daughter dates. He makes her a priority in his life and goes out of his way to make her feel special.

I have said this over and over, and I know it’s something that Ashley’s mommy, Jamie thinks about many times in a day, but Jamie and Ashley were so very lucky to have found a man like Mark - a man that is a pillar for his family, providing a solid foundation for growth and a soft place to land when someone falls.

Mark is also truly and deeply in love with his wife, Jamie and it shows. Whether he knows it or not, he is setting an excellent example for the kind of husband that Ashley will seek out when she is older. Because of his example, Ashley will demand someone that is respectful, loving, affectionate and dedicated. I truly believe that there is no better daddy in the world for Ashley.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Adoption Update

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! When will we get the return of service back .....do you know?
Thanks,
Christine

-----Original Message-----
From: CPS [mailto:austincps@cox-internet.com]
Sent: Friday, November 19, 2004 10:44 AM
To: Christine Stelzer
Subject: IIO Rogers Child




Christine: I just learned that Respondent Rick Acuna was personally
served November 7th at 4:45 p.m. in CA.

Sheri'
CPS

Emotions

Men are not emotional beings, men are not emotional beings, men are not emotional beings. Why is it that no matter how much I tell myself that, I just can't seem to accept it? Mark and I have the most wonderful relationship I've ever experienced in my life. Why is it that I can't just leave good enough alone? I want to know what goes on up in that head of his. There are several things going on in his life right now, and I don't have a clue what's going on in his head. For instance, last week...he came home early from work because of the death of his friend and the emotions that it was bringing up. Mark NEVER misses work. He drags himself to work no matter how much pain he's in. Him leaving work tells me that he was very sad and hurting inside. The only time he ever spoke to me about it was when he called to tell me he was coming home. He said it brought up feelings of his father and he couldn't stay at work anymore. That's it. We spent the entire day together, and that's the only thing he ever mentioned about it. I asked him several times how he was doing and he said he was ok. Why can't he talk to me? Doesn't he NEED to talk about these things? Isn't that part of why I'm here?

Lastnight I asked him about another emotional subject that came up after he received a phone call from an old friend of his. I asked if he wanted to talk about it and of course he said no. It hurts when you feel like an outsider to your husbands inner being. I worry that if he can't talk to me about what's inside of him, how would I ever know if he was to become unhappy in our marraige? Would he talk about it then? Would he tell me his needs, would he let me in?

Three thankfuls:

I'm thankful that Mark ALWAYS makes me feel loved.
I'm thankful that he has a soft heart.
I'm thankful that I have the desire to make our relationship stronger.

Weekend at Dads

My dad and stepmom met my brother and his girlfriend in Vegas this weekend, while we stayed at dad's and dog sat. It was a VERY relaxing weekend for all of us. On Saturday we all went Sesame Street Live and had such a wonderful time together. We filled up on popcorn, cotton candy and coke. What more could we ask for. After that we went home and did absolutely nothing for the rest of the weekend, which was EXACTLY what we needed. I'm anxious for Thanksgiving, I really miss my dad and stepmom and look forward to spending some time with them.

(Mark is STILL smoke free!!!)

3 thankfuls:

My safe warm home on this cold rainy day.
My sweet daughter who's mission in life is to please others.
My drive and determination to head off to the gym this morning.

Cigarettes

Mark came home from work yesterday, he walked through the door, I greeted him with the same loving hug that I always do, but this one was different. At the time I didn't know exactly WHAT was different, I just know it was delicious. We made our way to the kitchen, and he took me aside and said "listen, I want to tell you something, but DON'T get your hopes up". Um, ok? He proceeds..."I haven't had a cigarette since Friday, and I just wanted you to understand if I get a little short fused, that's why." I was so excited that I could not contain myself, I was jumping up and down screaming with excitement in the middle of the kitchen. I realized that he was delicious because he smelled like my husband and not the Marlboro man.

Mark has been a smoker since the day I met him. I married him as a smoker and as much as I want to change that about him, I know that I cannot force the issue, I've been there. You cannont "tell" someone to quit and expect that they will. Mark has NEVER had any desire to quit smoking, even after sharing all the revalations I had when I quit smoking. I told him the way I felt about it, the reasons for me quitting, and told him how awesome it would be if he could too. He wouldn't give it a second thought. I respected the fact that he wasn't ready.

I don't know if this will stick, even though I know he can do it. I just know that he has taken the first step. This is the first time he has EVER mentioned the act of quitting on his own. This is HUGE for him. HUGE! I am so proud of him and I hope he continues down this path

Wowzers

I just found a picture of myself from just over a year ago. What happened to me!? Oh my gosh, I look so good in that picture! I have gained 2-3 pounds, but how in the world is 2-3 pounds so obvious!? I'm trying to blame the weight on the fact that I quit smoking in Oct. of 2003, but that's not cutting it. I taped the picture up on my bathroom mirror to remind me each day what I am supposed to look like. I'm going to work my rear off, literally. I'm 5' 9.5" 162 lbs and hope to loose 5-10 lbs right smack dab in the middle of weight gaining season. lol Here goes!

Vertical sleeping

My poor honey! Mark is "laying" in bed trying to sleep vertically right now. He had surgery to repair his deviated septum and sinusitis this morning. He's so sad looking. He has a chunk of gauze taped under his nose to catch the blood, nothing could look more pathetic than that. He could probably ask me for anything right about now, and I would deliver. (Except for that suppository in my fridge, not sure I'm ready for that) Last night we went to the grocery store and bought all of his favorite lay in bed all weekend foods...sour Skittles, beef jerky, slim jim and cashews. I rolled my eyes watching him load up the cart, while telling me that Doctors orders were to stay in bed for a week. AS IF! "How much did you pay that Dr.?" Now, as I look at him, laid up, all pathetic like, in his sweatpants and blood stained gauze all I want is for him to eat his goodies and be normal again.

Letters and Sponges

I'm just amazed at how much Alex has learned in such a short period of time. I wish that I could learn as quickly as this little sponge! He can now identify every letter of the alphabet and tell me what each letter says. I can ask him what letter something starts with and he will get it right 99% of the time. I hate to sound like a bragging parent, because let me tell you, his ability to learn doesn't have much to do with me. He's just so interested in letters and learning and I have no control over his interest. The other day he looked up at the sky and said "momma, it's a "D" " I had no idea what he was talking about until he said "the moon momma, it's the letter D." Well, it was a half moon that evening. Today he pulls a Z off the fridge brings it to me and says "look momma, it's a Z and a N!" as he turns the Z sideways. Then he brings me the W, and does the same thing, "look momma it's a W and a M!" My genius is all of 3 years old though, he can be a genius one minute, and the next minute I look over and see him licking the wall, or eating his boogers. That's my boy!

Adoption Update

Apparently serving someone with papers in a different state is more difficult than our Attorney realized. California has changed the way they do things and they no longer have constables serve civil process, so they had to file a Rule 103, which allows process servers in CA to serve him. This obviously takes a bit longer than we originally thought it would. We just received an email update from our Attorney, apparently they are having a hard time serving him. He's either not there often or is avoiding the process server. (More than like the later is true for this case). Email received:


" Christine: I just heard back from the CA process server. He's made
several attempts & has verified the address with a person nearby. I
directed him to prepare and mail to me an affidavit of attempted
service, so we can 106 this guy.

Sheri', CPS


Our attorney's explanation of a Rule 106:


Basically, the Rule 106 Affidavit sets out all the times the Cal. process servers have attempted to serve Rick to no avail and it allows the notice/Petition to be posted on his door instead of physically handing/serving our Petition on him.


I am so friggin nervous!!! Why is he avoiding them? Who knows. It makes my stomach turn not knowing what will happen next. In the meantime we have to get a Home Study done. This is done in any adoption to ensure that the home is safe and the child is in good hands. I hate that we have to prove ourselves, but I understand the reasoning behind it. It's really in the best interest of the child. Obviously we will have no problem with this, but it's nerve racking to think that a stranger will be spending the most part of a day observing our routines and family life. I have been dreaming about Rick a lot lately and I'm ready for this to be over and out of my mind.

Fall

Fall finally found us...I think those Canadians were hording all of our cool weather. We had our first cold day right at Nov. 1. That seems very late in the season to me. It's 8:30 AM and 45 degrees F. The leaves are still attached to the trees, some are beginning to change colors, but not many. I woke up this morning to frost on the GREEN grass. It's very strange! I'm usually not ready for the cold weather, since I'm chilled so easily, but this year I'm ready for hot cocoa, hot tea, and SOUP! I love making Ashley hotcocoa after she's walked home from school in the cold. I think that will be a lasting memory for her. Just yesterday as we were walking Ash up to the school Alex realized how cold it was getting and asked me "where is the cold coming from?" Boy, that is one hard question to answer! Obviously he doesn't quite get it just yet.

How can I NOT say something

The election is finally over. I don't have a lot to say. I just hope the next 4 years are better than the last. Yep, that's about it.


I feel like dirt. Throat hurts, body aches, mind aches and I'm ready to have some peace and quiet. I just want a small piece of the day where there is complete silence. No kids yelling my name, no questions to be answered, no dog barking, no whining, no crying. Just a teensy tinsy piece. Maybe when I'm 40. And when I'm 40 I'll post an entry begging for noise.